When I was pregnant with Butterbean in 2019, I read a lot of books, blog posts, and advice columns, as mothers-to-be do. But isn’t it funny that practically all parenting advice is completely focused on the baby? How to feed Baby, play with Baby, get Baby to sleep. Any advice given directly to the mother about the mother is only in relation to her basic physical needs: eat 6 small meals a day, sleep when the baby sleeps, pump milk first thing in the morning.
So when the baby actually came, I was prepared for how to take care of it. And I was prepared to keep myself alive as well. But I was not prepared for the life-changing identity shift that also occurred. I was not prepared for the profound changes that happened not just inside my body, but also inside my mind. Some major transformation was going on in me, far deeper than eating and sleeping schedules. Having a baby changed my entire inner experience.
And no one really tells you about that. Or maybe there’s just no way to prepare someone for that. Maybe it’s something you just have to experience and figure out for yourself.